Steps :
1. Ignore the naysayers. In a couple driven consumer marketing society. You’re bound to come across people who wonder why you’re single, as if the ultimate goal in life is to pair up with another human being and cling so that ideal as if your life depends on it. They might even imply that something is wrong with you if you’re single. Brace yourself for that kind of ignore once. Remember that you don’t have to defend your being single, just like it’s rude to attack validity of someone’s relationship. Just say “I prefer being single” and change the subject or mention that statistics show that half of all people are single.
2. Focus on friendship. Being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely. When you’re single, you have more time to do a variety of things, all of which are opportunities to forge new friendship. Butterflies can grapple with loneliness too. Make it a priority in your life to create meaningful friendship and enrich your existing ones.
3. Enjoy your freedom. Everybody has radical little fantasies and the chances of pairing up with someone who shares such a fantasy with equal fervor is not something to hold your breath for. So what are you waiting for? Find some people who have the same idea, or just go for it alone, and you’ll meet like minded people along the way.
4. Appreciate the absence of compromise. Classic relationship advice dictates that compromise, sacrifice are essential to a healthy relationship. Perhaps if you’ve been in a relationship before, you realize how much stuff you had to give up in order to make that relationship work or maybe you forgot about stuff because you focused on the things you miss well, this is a good time to shift that focus.
5. Cherish the excitement. Relationship tend to come along with planning. For example, you can just accept a job across the country without touching base with your significant other. And generally, if you’re in it for the long haul. You’ll likely talk about what you’ll be doing years from now. But when you’re single, the future is completely open. Today you’re at you your desk, and a year from now you might be camping in Alaska. Right now your single, but tomorrow you might meet your soul-mate. Who knows? Fantasies be spontaneous. Be hold.
6. Being married is a “lifestyle choice” and not a “requirement”. Therefore, being single is a “lifestyle choice” and not a ”default option”. It is a possible choose to being a single. There are advantages to being married just as there are disadvantages to being married, such as loss of personal freedom having to compromise etc. Conversely, there are advantages to being single, as well as disadvantages. Whether is married or single is nothing more than a lifestyle choice.
Tips:
Say yes to every opportunity to learn, grow and meet new people
Be grateful for what you have. Many people don’t have what you have .
Decide for yourself if there are aspects of your life or your personality that you would like to change and do it. You are your best evaluator. You don’t need to listen to those people who tell you that you are single because you are to “” too fat or too old to meet someone else.
Ignore the toxic people in your life. It is easy to recognize them. Their negative words of fear and discouragement sap your energy.
Invest in yourself. Save some money and get a professional massage. Get a manicure & pedicure… Anything that nurtures your body and lift your spirit.
Look in your local newspaper for opportunities to join a service club or volunteer with an organization. Look in your church newsletter for church related activities if that makes you happy. Check the continuing Education Program at your local community college to if there is a class that you would like to attend.
Warnings:
You can learn new things from anyone you could possibly meet, but be careful, choose people who teach you in a positive way rather than a negative one. Some lessons are better learned through observation rather than experience.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
ADVANTAGE AND DISADVANTAGES OF BEING SINGLE
Let’s explore this status known as “single”. It is state of standing alone,having one being individually set as person who is single, viewing one according to the definition of “single” could be a depressing thought .It is only in the peak of loneliness that individuals admit their need for companionship.Especially during one particular anti-single holiday appropriate nicknamed “v-day” individuals desire relationship status.Though true for some,many singles embrace their singlehood.Being single does not pose to be a burden but rather an excuse to live with an individual frame of mind.The need or indifference to find love all depends on where an individual stands mentality and emotionally.Life suits us differently.
As a single person,I have experienced the “singlehood” at highs and lows.I can recount many stories from friends both male and female of their perspective of being single.I found myself pleased to learn that single life is not universally similar.From my own experience and those of those of others, I compiled two separate lists one being the top 5 advantages and the other the 5 advantages of being single.
Advantages:
1.You do not have to consider another person when making life decisions for yourself.
2.You can enjoy the hunt of dating;meeting different people without the headache of having to commit.
3.Going about your day carefree;leaving out and returning at your leisure without having to be courteous enough to your significant other regarding your whereabouts.
4.Have more time to spend with friends and family.Friends and family tend to rag when you are always with your significant other and neglect to spend time them.
5.During the holidays you get gifts solely for you as opposed to a couple or household gift.
Disadvantages:
1.You have to search for a date for outings that require one..i.e. company parties or double dates.
2.You get less money for taxes.
3.During inclement weather ,you often get restricted to the house with no one with whom you can share the moment.
4.When it rains it pours and when it doesn’t there is a drought when you are on a roll meeting new people and exploring the dating scene it is like the weather Girl’s song “It’s raining men”. But when the dating pool it fresh out and your bait is not as enticingmyou feel the void.
5.Family and friends always ask about past relationship that did not work out often,they ask at the wrong time,i.e. when you bring someone new to dinner.
As a single person,I have experienced the “singlehood” at highs and lows.I can recount many stories from friends both male and female of their perspective of being single.I found myself pleased to learn that single life is not universally similar.From my own experience and those of those of others, I compiled two separate lists one being the top 5 advantages and the other the 5 advantages of being single.
Advantages:
1.You do not have to consider another person when making life decisions for yourself.
2.You can enjoy the hunt of dating;meeting different people without the headache of having to commit.
3.Going about your day carefree;leaving out and returning at your leisure without having to be courteous enough to your significant other regarding your whereabouts.
4.Have more time to spend with friends and family.Friends and family tend to rag when you are always with your significant other and neglect to spend time them.
5.During the holidays you get gifts solely for you as opposed to a couple or household gift.
Disadvantages:
1.You have to search for a date for outings that require one..i.e. company parties or double dates.
2.You get less money for taxes.
3.During inclement weather ,you often get restricted to the house with no one with whom you can share the moment.
4.When it rains it pours and when it doesn’t there is a drought when you are on a roll meeting new people and exploring the dating scene it is like the weather Girl’s song “It’s raining men”. But when the dating pool it fresh out and your bait is not as enticingmyou feel the void.
5.Family and friends always ask about past relationship that did not work out often,they ask at the wrong time,i.e. when you bring someone new to dinner.
My Status as Single
“No man is an island”, means we need someone in case of times when we are blue, when we need to do something that I our self cannot do without anyone, when we need help when recovering in the stage of being heartbroken nor alone.
Whenever I am single, mixed emotions were covering me up. Happy because I will not tend to think of anyone rather than my self, I can go whenever and wherever I want also I don’t have my limitations in everything I do. Jealous, because whenever I see a couple holding hands, flirting with each other I do get jealous that makes me realize that I want someone to fulfill my loneliness, someone who will always there whenever I need, not a friend but more than a friend , someone who will always understand me and do more of the things I want. But being into a relationship does not go easy like that. Try to find what makes you happy & soon you will end up with someone who saw completeness in you without ever wanting anything except to be a part of you also by the time you fall in love it changes your life forever and no matter how you try the feeling never goes away.
But for now , I totally loved the way my life goes on, after that on and off relationship that I had been passed by, for now I end up myself happy and contented with someone, he’s someone who make me realized that i was meant to beloved and to be understand. It’s just now, love is in the air.
- Jemalyn Y. Ferrer
Whenever I am single, mixed emotions were covering me up. Happy because I will not tend to think of anyone rather than my self, I can go whenever and wherever I want also I don’t have my limitations in everything I do. Jealous, because whenever I see a couple holding hands, flirting with each other I do get jealous that makes me realize that I want someone to fulfill my loneliness, someone who will always there whenever I need, not a friend but more than a friend , someone who will always understand me and do more of the things I want. But being into a relationship does not go easy like that. Try to find what makes you happy & soon you will end up with someone who saw completeness in you without ever wanting anything except to be a part of you also by the time you fall in love it changes your life forever and no matter how you try the feeling never goes away.
But for now , I totally loved the way my life goes on, after that on and off relationship that I had been passed by, for now I end up myself happy and contented with someone, he’s someone who make me realized that i was meant to beloved and to be understand. It’s just now, love is in the air.
- Jemalyn Y. Ferrer
“STILL WAITING..”
I am 38 years old, a single mom with 4 gorgeous and smart daughters. Although I have already have them, sometimes, I just get tired of waiting for the right person to come and to stay with me for the rest of my life- then out of nowhere someone comes taking total control of your whole being. At my age, I still believe that each one of us has a destiny to either follow or turn around.
As a woman, in general, we are nurturing and emotional. The majority of the time we are constantly multi-tasking and taking care of everyone but ourselves. I am supporting my children financially, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually more than the father.
Happiness is a choice and so is falling in love (I learned it the hard way). I continue to be happy and be in love even if I've lost too many battles. Life goes on. There’s no perfect life but we can live our lives with perfect moments. Work helps me to do so. . and so do my kids. . my family and the people around me.
Despite of being a single, I want to be the best mother for my kids. I will give them the life that they deserve. I dream to attain a certain bliss that only true love can give. For now, I am settled with the thought that I have someone who I can share the rest of my life with. .someone who would love my kids like his own. .and someone to be there when everything fails and I fall apart. I know I am blessed.
As a woman, in general, we are nurturing and emotional. The majority of the time we are constantly multi-tasking and taking care of everyone but ourselves. I am supporting my children financially, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually more than the father.
Happiness is a choice and so is falling in love (I learned it the hard way). I continue to be happy and be in love even if I've lost too many battles. Life goes on. There’s no perfect life but we can live our lives with perfect moments. Work helps me to do so. . and so do my kids. . my family and the people around me.
Despite of being a single, I want to be the best mother for my kids. I will give them the life that they deserve. I dream to attain a certain bliss that only true love can give. For now, I am settled with the thought that I have someone who I can share the rest of my life with. .someone who would love my kids like his own. .and someone to be there when everything fails and I fall apart. I know I am blessed.
SINGLE MOM
A mother but not a wife. In other words “single mother”. This kind of situation in our society is very common nowadays. In fact, known celebrities, as well as political personalities are ordinarily included in this case.
Carlene Aguilar, a famous beauty queen title holder, and Jennylyn Mercado, one of the pretty faces in television are both single moms. Sometimes I wonder why these kinds of women are being left by their partners. Are their distinctive individual qualities are not enough for them to be loved by the people who are they used to be loved? Why those men can’t stay forever by their sides and live together? Or its simply, they are not meant for each other? But how about their child/children?.Being single men is differ from being single lady in some other way. You have more responsibilities and obligations if you already have your child/children, opposite from being only a single lady. Aside from that, single mothers are being justified by the people if they can’t sustain the necessities of their children. But concerning with the feelings of those women who do all possible things just to raise their children? People judged them by the negative things that they’ve seen but have we ever seen their sacrifices?! They almost give up their happiness for the sake of their children and after all the desires and satisfactions of the people around are not fulfilled. Negative words that come out from people’s mouth like “it is just a superficial love affair”, and they think that it is a love with a guy without serious intentions. Do we think that it’s right to come to an opinion like that?!Just think of it….
My cousin, Precious, is a single mom. She used to loved a guy she thought her husband to be. Now, her daughter Germaine is already 5 years old. Germaine’s father still sustaining their needs .Despite of this, my cousin decided to look for a job to earn money for the future of her daughter. She want to be an independent and stand with her own so when time comes, Germaine will be proud of her mother for raising her up aside from being a single mother.
Carlene Aguilar, a famous beauty queen title holder, and Jennylyn Mercado, one of the pretty faces in television are both single moms. Sometimes I wonder why these kinds of women are being left by their partners. Are their distinctive individual qualities are not enough for them to be loved by the people who are they used to be loved? Why those men can’t stay forever by their sides and live together? Or its simply, they are not meant for each other? But how about their child/children?.Being single men is differ from being single lady in some other way. You have more responsibilities and obligations if you already have your child/children, opposite from being only a single lady. Aside from that, single mothers are being justified by the people if they can’t sustain the necessities of their children. But concerning with the feelings of those women who do all possible things just to raise their children? People judged them by the negative things that they’ve seen but have we ever seen their sacrifices?! They almost give up their happiness for the sake of their children and after all the desires and satisfactions of the people around are not fulfilled. Negative words that come out from people’s mouth like “it is just a superficial love affair”, and they think that it is a love with a guy without serious intentions. Do we think that it’s right to come to an opinion like that?!Just think of it….
My cousin, Precious, is a single mom. She used to loved a guy she thought her husband to be. Now, her daughter Germaine is already 5 years old. Germaine’s father still sustaining their needs .Despite of this, my cousin decided to look for a job to earn money for the future of her daughter. She want to be an independent and stand with her own so when time comes, Germaine will be proud of her mother for raising her up aside from being a single mother.
The Things I Love & I Hate. :)
There are so many great things about being single. But by the way our friends, family, neighborhood treat me as incomplete having no relationship/in couple in long time, you'd think being single made you some tragic donkey, hopelessly alone and destined to nobody. Most people don't go out of their way to make you feel bad when you're single—they just make you feel bad by being themselves. But life has become this ridiculous "single/not single" binary divide in which the uncoupled are treated as incomplete, awaiting further instructions. Being single definitely has its advantages. There's more freedom, less responsibility, and no one to keep tabs on you. Conversely, there are some things I absolutely hate about being single.
Hates:
1. Not having a guaranteed "activity buddy." If you're single and you want to go out to dinner you've got to find someone to go with. Sure, you can invite friends or other couples but they may not be available. When you're in a relationship this isn't a big deal, your partner tends to become the default option.
2. Playing the "do you like me?" game. I try to be as direct as possible when expressing how I feel about others, but unfortunately not everyone takes this approach. I can handle someone rushing commitment and being very up-front about wanting to date me, and I can also handle someone not returning my calls or telling me they're just not interested. What I cannot handle, however, is someone sending mixed messages and being generally unclear with where a relationship is heading. It's frustrating and misinterpreting someone's intentions can be very embarrassing.
3. You don't have someone to come home to
4. Dating is expensive
5. The chaotic ups and downs. Being single you're subject to a much wider range of emotional stress that can be both exciting and horrible. One day you're basking in the euphoria of meeting someone new and the next you're dealing with the staggering blow of rejection.
Love:
1. Freedom! Stay out as late as you like, answer to no one, and your only commitment is to debauchery and perhaps a hangover.
2. There's more time to better yourself. Whether due to necessity or convenience, single people tend to exercise more and generally take better care of themselves.
3. If you're capable of being alone (and you aren't the type of person that has been jumping from one relationship to the next your whole life), you'll find that over time your can fine-tune exactly who you're looking for and you'll only commit to someone who is truly exceptional. In other words, you lose the tendency to settle and develop a better sense of what you want.
4. There's more time for hobbies and personal interests
5. If you're a workaholic this affords you to the perfect opportunity to embrace your addiction (*cough* so about working those 18 hour days as a blogger, entrepreneur, web developer, and CTO of a marketing firm...)
6. Dating is different than it used to be and with the rise of the interwebs pretty much anyone can find a date nowadays.
Hates:
1. Not having a guaranteed "activity buddy." If you're single and you want to go out to dinner you've got to find someone to go with. Sure, you can invite friends or other couples but they may not be available. When you're in a relationship this isn't a big deal, your partner tends to become the default option.
2. Playing the "do you like me?" game. I try to be as direct as possible when expressing how I feel about others, but unfortunately not everyone takes this approach. I can handle someone rushing commitment and being very up-front about wanting to date me, and I can also handle someone not returning my calls or telling me they're just not interested. What I cannot handle, however, is someone sending mixed messages and being generally unclear with where a relationship is heading. It's frustrating and misinterpreting someone's intentions can be very embarrassing.
3. You don't have someone to come home to
4. Dating is expensive
5. The chaotic ups and downs. Being single you're subject to a much wider range of emotional stress that can be both exciting and horrible. One day you're basking in the euphoria of meeting someone new and the next you're dealing with the staggering blow of rejection.
Love:
1. Freedom! Stay out as late as you like, answer to no one, and your only commitment is to debauchery and perhaps a hangover.
2. There's more time to better yourself. Whether due to necessity or convenience, single people tend to exercise more and generally take better care of themselves.
3. If you're capable of being alone (and you aren't the type of person that has been jumping from one relationship to the next your whole life), you'll find that over time your can fine-tune exactly who you're looking for and you'll only commit to someone who is truly exceptional. In other words, you lose the tendency to settle and develop a better sense of what you want.
4. There's more time for hobbies and personal interests
5. If you're a workaholic this affords you to the perfect opportunity to embrace your addiction (*cough* so about working those 18 hour days as a blogger, entrepreneur, web developer, and CTO of a marketing firm...)
6. Dating is different than it used to be and with the rise of the interwebs pretty much anyone can find a date nowadays.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Finding Ways.
Finding Ways.
In our life, no wants to be alone or be just singled man/woman forever. But all of us finding a way to enter or to come into a “RELATIONSHIP”. But being single for me doesn’t mean that you are a loner or you’re a looser. Before you enter or go into a relationship you must know to yourself that you are a smart,kind and responsible person. Because some of the people entered into a relationship life says fulfilling wants/desires is the “one” can make them comfortable and feel the happiness. But there’s a greater chance that you can get/feel happiness and comfortable as one when you are single. So me,myself compared the life of a “relationship while you’re studying” and the life of a “single while you’re studying”. Most of my friends and classmates experiencing the life of relationship while they’re studying, while me single but happy. There an situation that my friend experienced, he experienced that every month he have to think what kind of gift or special thing he’s going to give to his girlfriend, because every month they always and "must" to celebrate their monthsary together. One thing when you’re single you have more time to spend with your family, friends, classmate, work and specially to study. Most of the time my friend experiencing this situation, me and my friends usually play computer games after class, after they have their own gf, we can’t play together just because they want to join his gf instead of us. Being in a relation while you are studying can distract mind in studying. Me and my friends and classmate experienced having a gf-classmate, some of my classmate always bully them always shout, laugh etc. just to make talk about in the whole class.Isn’t it funny?Even in work,if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and you’re together in same department or division.First you must be professional to divide or to separate love to career.So I better say you must be first stable in life and career and be responsible before you enter in a relationship just to fulfill your wants and desires
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