There are so many great things about being single. But by the way our friends, family, neighborhood treat me as incomplete having no relationship/in couple in long time, you'd think being single made you some tragic donkey, hopelessly alone and destined to nobody. Most people don't go out of their way to make you feel bad when you're single—they just make you feel bad by being themselves. But life has become this ridiculous "single/not single" binary divide in which the uncoupled are treated as incomplete, awaiting further instructions. Being single definitely has its advantages. There's more freedom, less responsibility, and no one to keep tabs on you. Conversely, there are some things I absolutely hate about being single.
Hates:
1. Not having a guaranteed "activity buddy." If you're single and you want to go out to dinner you've got to find someone to go with. Sure, you can invite friends or other couples but they may not be available. When you're in a relationship this isn't a big deal, your partner tends to become the default option.
2. Playing the "do you like me?" game. I try to be as direct as possible when expressing how I feel about others, but unfortunately not everyone takes this approach. I can handle someone rushing commitment and being very up-front about wanting to date me, and I can also handle someone not returning my calls or telling me they're just not interested. What I cannot handle, however, is someone sending mixed messages and being generally unclear with where a relationship is heading. It's frustrating and misinterpreting someone's intentions can be very embarrassing.
3. You don't have someone to come home to
4. Dating is expensive
5. The chaotic ups and downs. Being single you're subject to a much wider range of emotional stress that can be both exciting and horrible. One day you're basking in the euphoria of meeting someone new and the next you're dealing with the staggering blow of rejection.
Love:
1. Freedom! Stay out as late as you like, answer to no one, and your only commitment is to debauchery and perhaps a hangover.
2. There's more time to better yourself. Whether due to necessity or convenience, single people tend to exercise more and generally take better care of themselves.
3. If you're capable of being alone (and you aren't the type of person that has been jumping from one relationship to the next your whole life), you'll find that over time your can fine-tune exactly who you're looking for and you'll only commit to someone who is truly exceptional. In other words, you lose the tendency to settle and develop a better sense of what you want.
4. There's more time for hobbies and personal interests
5. If you're a workaholic this affords you to the perfect opportunity to embrace your addiction (*cough* so about working those 18 hour days as a blogger, entrepreneur, web developer, and CTO of a marketing firm...)
6. Dating is different than it used to be and with the rise of the interwebs pretty much anyone can find a date nowadays.
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